All You Ever Wanted
by A Darker Shade
Summary: When Reno lets slip to his lover Rufus that he thinks Tseng is someone he could never have, Rufus is not best pleased, and decides to teach Reno a lesson by pursuing Tseng himself. Response to a challenge by CameoAmalthea. Rufus/Reno, Rufus/Tseng, Reno/Tseng, Reno/Xin (male OC).
1. Out of Your Reach

**This is the first part of a multi chapter fic that came about when my response to CameoAmalthea's challenge at the Genesis Awards forums got me a bit carried away. This one follows her brief a bit more closely than "Say the Word", but Reno went off and got involved with my OC, Xin, in this one! **

**This story is also a kind of sequel to my fic "As Good as it Gets." **

**Cameo's challenge was this: **

**Summary: Tseng has been watching and wanting Reno, but Reno has no idea. Reno doesn't think he'd ever catch Tseng's eye, he knows there are some things he just can't have. When he lets his insecurities slip to his lover, Rufus Shinra is quick to take things the wrong way and is none too pleased to hear that Reno thinks someone is too good for him. What does that make Rufus? Lower? Out of spite he decides to take what Reno wants for himself, but will pursuing Tseng become more than just a game for Rufus?  
Terms that must be met: Misunderstandings. Rufus not caring that Reno wants to be with Tseng, but offended that Reno doesn't think he can. Rod observing events and having no idea what's going on. Possibly Rude guessing almost exactly what's going on and saying nothing.**

**Here you go, Cam! Not sure what happened here...**

**The title of this one has me singing that Marina and the Diamonds song "Prima Donna Girl". Rufus is such a prima donna at times! **

**They're all tougher here than in "Say the Word." **

* * *

**All You Ever Wanted**

**I**

**Out of Your Reach**

"Sometimes," says Rufus, his voice low and deceptively soft, the fingers of his right hand playing idly with Reno's hair, "I question whether you really want to be here."

Reno, his head comfortably resting on Rufus' chest, doesn't open his eyes. He's too close to sleep to be bothered with Rufus' games. "Uh huh," he says, and his tone is so completely non-committal that Rufus has no idea what the hell he means.

"You do, or you don't?" Rufus demands, and there's just enough of that familiar edge in his voice that Reno has to suppress a sigh, because – shit – he's got to work again in four hours, and can't Rufus ever just take things for what they are and friggin' _relax_?

"Do – don't – what?" Reno asks, slurring deliberately, hoping that for once Rufus will let it go; knowing that he won't. See – this is why, in his other life, he prefers to stick to one-nighters mostly, and why he generally gets out of there before these kinds of conversations can crop up.

"Do you want to be here?"

Reno opens his eyes and looks up at Rufus – finds himself the target of that intense gaze. "Little blue dot," Reno says, erasing the mental image of Tseng the moment that phrase makes it appear, because if Rufus isn't a fucking mind reader he doesn't know who is. Tseng maybe? No. No, no, no.

"_What?_" Rufus asks, irritated by the non sequitur.

Reno smiles, his expression both lazy and cunning, and Rufus warns himself not to fall for the charm this time, because he's not one of Reno's casual hook-ups, he's Rufus Shinra, and he wants an answer. Reno reaches up to brush Rufus' blond hair aside, and says, "Your eyes – like – fuckin' laser sights. You know – the little red dots? Only blue…"

Rufus shakes his head. "I'm wise to your distraction tactics, Turk."

"I'm in the kill zone, huh?"

"You are," Rufus says. "So answer the question."

Reno's fingers tighten in Rufus' hair, and he pulls him down into a kiss, too close for focus. "You _want_ to be distracted," he murmurs, attempting another kiss, but Rufus turns his face aside and frowns. "I want an answer," he says.

"Okay, okay. What was the question?"

Instead of repeating himself, Rufus says, "You're not under any obligation to be here, you know."

"Yeah, I know. If I was, I'd be askin' to be paid - time and a half minimum, given that I'm on duty again in –" he rolls over to check the clock - "just under four hours."

When Rufus doesn't smile, Reno sits up and looks at him properly. "All right – what is it? You know why I'm here."

"Do I?"

"Oh for fuck's – Okay, spit it out, Rufus. What did I do – didn't I do? 'Cause I thought that was good, yeah? Better than good."

"I'm a great lay," Rufus says, his voice flat.

"Yeah. Yeah – you are."

"And that's it?"

"What do you want me to say?" Reno reaches over for a cigarette from the packet on the nightstand next to Rufus, but Rufus pushes his hand away. Reno's smile is mocking as he adds, "'Sup, Baby? You worried I won't respect you in the morning?"

"Tell me," Rufus says, his expression blank, "about Xin."

Oh. Right.

There's a look Reno gets when he's angry – it's as though the light in his eyes hardens, changing the complex mix of soft blues and greens in his irises to something sharp, glittering with a cold gemstone fire. "What about Xin?" he asks, with forced calm.

"I hear you've been spending quite a bit of time with him."

"So? I've not been spending _company_ time with him. What I do off the clock is my business." Reno doesn't even bother to question Rufus about his sources. Tseng, for one, doubtless keeps him informed.

"Yes, of course. I'm simply interested. You don't often see people more than once – you told me that yourself."

"Yeah. But sometimes I do. What – you think he's a security risk?"

"He's half Wutaian."

Reno scoffs. "So's Tseng."

"Yes. I wondered whether that might be the point, actually – the resemblance."

"_He_ came on to _me_. Did your spies tell you that?"

"I saw a photograph. Do you keep on seeing him because he looks like Tseng?"

"He don't look _that_ like Tseng."

"Nevertheless…"

"You think I have a thing for Tseng?"

"That's what I'm asking."

"What would be the point of having a thing for someone I could never - who's my immediate superior?" Reno asks and the verbal stumble gives Rufus pause.

"Someone you could never have?" he says.

"I didn't say –"

"But you were going to. You think Tseng is - what? Out of your reach?"

"What is this? Shit, Rufus, I need to sleep."

Rufus just looks at him.

"_What?_ This is so fucked up! Look, Tseng's my line manager – it would be unprofessional. He wouldn't be interested, even if I was. Xin – he's just a pretty guy I met in a bar. _You_ said this was casual. You never said you didn't want me to go with other people."

"What if I said that now?" Rufus asks, his eyes on Reno's hands. Reno forces himself to keep them still – not to clench them into fists. He doesn't need this now – really doesn't –

Rufus feels the tension in Reno's body through the mattress. Reno asks, "_Are_ you going to say that?"

"No, of course not. I've told you why this has to stay casual. But hypothetically?"

"I don't deal in that shit. I'm a Turk."

"Right. So – you do what you do – say what you mean. It's all up front with you, Reno. No secrets, no lies." Rufus takes a cigarette and lights it, not offering the pack to Reno. Reno waits until he's replaced it on the nightstand, leans across and reclaims the whole packet, placing it deliberately on his side of the bed. "Yeah. Guess I'm like you, comes to that," he says.

Rufus laughs mirthlessly. "You have no idea," he says, giving Reno a look that could mean anything at all. "I'm – in a league of my own 'comes to that'."

"Fuck this," Reno mutters. "I can't do this. I have to sleep, or someone's liable to get killed tomorrow."

"Isn't that your job?"

"Not usually. Anyway – I meant the _wrong_ person. Rufus – I've been on duty for thirty-two hours, and with you for another three. Can we not talk about this now? I guess I'll stop seeing Xin if you want. It's - just sex." Even as he says it, Reno wonders whether that's true anymore.

"No," says Rufus – "See who you like. I was only curious."

"Right," says Reno, flicking the switch to turn off the reading light on his side of the bed. Rufus puts out his cigarette and goes to the bathroom to clean his teeth. When he comes back, Reno appears to be asleep, his back to Rufus. Rufus kisses his shoulder, but he doesn't move. Rufus hesitates, thinking about biting, but Reno really does need to sleep, and in the end he turns out his own light, and settles on his side, facing away from Reno.

Reno lies in the darkness, unable to fall asleep. Damn. And now he'll have to finish with Xin, for Xin's sake and his own. Not that he thinks Rufus would actually do anything to Xin – that wouldn't be Rufus' style. But Tseng, or someone else, will be watching even more closely now, taking notes, asking questions. And that pisses Reno off, because Xin is a good lover – better than Reno ever expected that first night – and he's going to miss that body, and the feel of that sleek, heavy hair in his hands – the gleam of intense almost-black eyes in the near-dark, and the fact that Xin's quietness allows space for Reno to imagine that Xin is someone else. Someone entirely out of his reach.

In the morning, Rufus wakes Reno with a nip on the shoulder that's a lot gentler than it would have been last night. Reno groans and rolls over. 'Can't be time already."

"It's time. I made you coffee."

"Thanks. Shit, I'm tired." Reno sits up, and Rufus hands him a mug. When Reno sips the coffee, he closes his eyes and sighs. "Fuck that's good. What is it?"

"Mideel Gold Seal."

"Pricey?"

"A hundred gil a cup, in any coffee shop on the plate."

"You always were a flash fucker."

"Some things are simply worth the investment."

"Yeah," Reno agrees, pointedly finishing the coffee in two gulps that slide down his throat like liquid silk, "Which is fine if you got it to invest." He gets out of bed, unabashed, as always, by his nakedness, and heads for the bathroom. Rufus watches him – the soft spikes of that bright hair, the movement of hard muscle over long bones, the perfect shape of his ass, the small blue bruise on his shoulder from this morning, the paler patterns of old scars on already pale skin.

"You've got it," Rufus murmurs, when the sluicing of water in the shower ensures that Reno won't hear him. "Why do you undervalue yourself?"

Reno's unvoiced words of the previous night sound in Rufus' mind, causing him an unpleasant twisting sensation somewhere inside that hurts, but which must, like all pain, be made to manifest as anger. "Someone I could never have," says Rufus softly, aloud. He ponders Reno's lack of judgement, his anger growing. Tseng's _out of your reach? So far out of your reach that you had to find some slum-trash substitute, and you'd still rather fuck him than me? What am I then? Someone you deign to make time for when your work schedule's too tight to let you be where you really want to be? Why do you undervalue _me_? How dare you undervalue me! Haven't I given you everything – made you my lover – bought you things you could never afford? I let you have other lovers, but you ought to appreciate that there's some kind of hierarchy, for fuck's sake! You don't get to rank me lower than one of your colleagues! Tseng's nothing. Fuck Tseng. In fact... Let's see just how untouchable your precious Tseng turns out to be. _

Reno comes back into the bedroom, takes clean underwear and socks out of one of the drawers in Rufus' closet without asking and puts on his uniform, the shirt still crumpled from yesterday. Of course Rufus put his own clothes into the laundry-chute last night, but Reno doesn't have that option unless they want the staff gossiping. Officially he's in Rufus' rooms as a bodyguard – nothing more. He's always careful to remove any sign of his presence from Rufus' suite – checks that there are no telltale red hairs in the shower, replaces the spare toothbrush head in its box in the cupboard under the sink.

Once dressed, Reno rakes his fingers through carefully dried hair, watching Rufus warily.

"Gotta go."

"Yes."

"You wanna do this again tonight?"

"Not tonight. I have a date. Some daughter of one of my father's friends. Huh. I think he hopes I'll marry her."

"Is she hot?"

"Is sex all you ever think about?"

Reno's expression twists for an instant before he flashes Rufus a sharp smile. "Pretty much. What else is there, yo? Sex, smokes, hard liquor – maybe a fight or a couple hundred gil on the chocobos. Oh – and great coffee." He winks, and turns to leave.

"You should fuck him, if that's all it is," Rufus says.

Reno turns, hand on the doorframe. He says nothing – gives Rufus no opening. Rufus pushes on regardless. "Tseng," he says. "You should fuck him. Get it out of your system."

"Not gonna happen," Reno replies, opening the door.

"Then you won't mind if I do."

There's the most fleeting of pauses before Reno scoffs, "Yeah - good luck with that!" and is gone without looking back, but Rufus senses the hesitation, is alive to the palpable tension. Oh yes - Reno _minds_, but not out of any possessive feelings towards _him_, and the confirmation of that is poison to Rufus, all the more bitter for being self-inflicted.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. **


	2. Speculation

**Cam - hope you don't mind that I borrowed Asher for a fleeting mention! **

**Rufus wonders what Reno wants.**

* * *

**Speculation**

The Wunderbar is full tonight. Reno moves up to make room for Trig and Rod at their corner table. Rude phoned ten minutes back, saying he'll be along later once he's wrapped up a mission with Chie. Xin's over by the bar and Reno's pretending not to have seen him. He knows he has to finish it tonight, and he doesn't want to – not a predicament he faces often.

"I'll get the next round in," Rod offers. Say what you like about Rod, he's never been tight. "Are we waiting for Tseng?"

"No," says Trig, downing his double whiskey, chased by a quick drag from the cigarette he's holding in the same hand. "Veld swapped Tseng's shift with mine. He's babysitting the VP on some date with some hot chick. Saw her file. Eight out of ten - serious tits – 'bout as real as one of Corneo's fur coats though. He used to say Nibel-wolf, but I know Jumping."

"So you got the evening off?" asks Rod. "Lucky break."

"Not so much. They're at Bernetti's. Chicks in there are loaded in every sense, you get me?"

"What," asks Rod, grinning, "like, packing chrome?"

Trig scoffs. "Most of 'em."

"Wasted?"

"That too, by the end of the night."

"Yeah. Wasted on Tseng, anyway," Rod says. Reno shoots him a look. Rod raises his eyebrows. "What? No disrespect. You ever seen Tseng pick up _anyone_? Whatever he's into, he keeps it quiet - all I'm sayin'."

Reno lets it go. Rod heads for the bar and Reno asks Trig quietly, "Veld say why he swapped you with Tseng?"

"Nope. But since that fuck up with Ash –"

"Live and learn," Reno advises. "Everyone makes mistakes. Asher's fine."

""S what the boss said. But if he don't trust me with the VP…"

"Pretty sure it's not that," Reno says, his expression bleak. "I'm bettin' this is the VP's call, and if I'm right, then it's nothin' to do with you, trust me."

"What then?"

"Can't say. Think I know, though." Reno frowns, deep in thought, then puts his hand on Trig's shoulder as he gets to his feet. "Cheer up, man. You're doin' good. Tell Rude I'll see him tomorrow, yeah?"

"Okay. Why – where're you –"

"Something I need to do."

Passing Rod on his way back from the bar, Reno lifts his beer bottle neatly out of the collection of drinks Rod's carrying and nods his thanks, moving on before the sometimes over-eager junior can engage him in conversation.

x

"And _Finola _said, 'Yah, but then I'm so rich, I don't have to!'" the girl – Annabel, Arabella, whatever her name is - has a laugh that's even more annoying than Scarlet's, and Rufus has to force himself not to wince as it echoes off the high ceiling of the restaurant. He glances away from her flawless, vacant face, and away again, even more quickly, from her unnaturally shiny, improbably spherical breasts, displayed, to what she doubtless considers maximum advantage, in a low-cut blue velvet evening gown. The twin orbs remain oddly static even when the rest of her is shaking with hilarity at her own wit. Reno will laugh when he tells him…

What's Reno doing now? Is he with the other off-duty Turks in some interesting slum bar Rufus will never be permitted to visit for 'security reasons'? Is he with Xin?

Behind him, Rufus is keenly aware of Tseng, standing silent and alert, scanning the other diners for potential threats.

"Well," Rufus says to the girl, not even attempting to smile, "This has been delightful, but I have a heavy work schedule tomorrow. Please allow me to escort you to your car."

"Oh – but it's still early!" the girl pouts. "We could go on somewhere?" Her voice drops a half octave and Rufus actually has to stifle a laugh as she performs an excruciating parody of seduction, leaning across the table, pretending to tidy a stray lock of his hair, murmuring, "We could go back to yours…"

Smoothly, Rufus gets to his feet. "I'm sorry – I'm afraid that's not possible. Thank you for your company."

"Well, thank you for _yours_," the girl purrs, and Rufus can virtually see the gil signs in her eyes as she shrugs on the expensive Wutai watered silk jacket the maitre d' is holding for her. "We must do this again sometime."

Rufus makes a noncommittal sound, putting on his own jacket, and takes her arm as coolly as he can manage without being outright rude. Tseng follows them out of the restaurant and waits as Rufus hands his date into her family's limousine with a few cold, polite words. Well aware of the possibility of lurking paparazzi, Rufus keeps a bland expression on his face until he's safely inside his own car, Tseng beside him in the back. The driver - the honey-blonde female Turk with the ponytail who Reno once described as 'one of your lot' because of her family connections – turns and smiles at him. "Ready, Sir?"

"More than," Rufus says. "What an evening!" As the car pulls away he glances at Tseng, and wonders about Reno's interest in the man. Tseng has been part of his own life for so long that he can't even remember the first time he saw him. He's always been a reassuring presence – quiet, efficient, professional. Nothing about him demands attention – he's Reno's opposite in that regard. And yet, Rufus realises with a little internal shock, he's really extremely handsome. How has he failed to notice that before? Of course he _has_ noticed it, he acknowledges – noted it in passing, as something irrelevant to him. One of the employees – trustworthy – reliable – as necessarily present as a good, solid piece of furniture and equally unobtrusive - that's how he's considered Tseng until now. Whereas Reno – Reno who works with Tseng, who even socialises with him - must see him very differently.

"Would you say I was good-looking, Tseng?" Rufus asks suddenly. It's certainly not the tack he intended to take, but he finds himself wondering whether Tseng's physical attractiveness is the simple source of Reno's fascination.

Tseng looks at him, apparently unsurprised at the question. "Yes, Sir," is all he says.

"And Reno?"

This time, Tseng does look surprised, and oddly unsettled. "Reno?"

"Yes. Do you consider Reno good-looking?"

"Reno's looks are certainly - out of the ordinary," Tseng says carefully.

"Yes," Rufus agrees. "Of course, you know that we –" Rufus breaks off, realising that he has no idea what to call whatever it is that he has with Reno. 'You know that we fuck' sounds too stark, too crude, although it's basically the truth. 'You know that we're together' sounds like a line from some chick-flick that Ana – Ara – bella girl would probably watch. 'You know that we're lovers' is technically true, but the connotations of the word are too romantic to fit the situation, even if it is how he thinks of Reno in his head.

Tseng reaches forward to slide the privacy screen across. "Yes," says Tseng, saving Rufus from having to label something that can't be easily pinned down. "Veld and I are aware. Some of the others may have worked it out, but none of them will say anything."

"I –" Rufus finds that he has to ask the question that's been bothering him ever since he started this thing with Reno, even though it's entirely not the way he wanted the evening to go. "I was wondering, actually," he says, his attempt at a nonchalant tone not even convincing himself, "whether Reno – whether any of you - had orders to sleep with me. You know, – if I –" Rufus never allows himself to be controlled by emotion – insecurity and embarrassment are weaknesses and must be overcome - but he never expected this to be so hard. "Given my father's hostility to my – predominant orientation, and his likely reaction if he finds out, it would seem reasonable for Veld to want to – contain things," he finishes, taking refuge in formal language and rational argument.

The look Tseng gives him is difficult to read, but Rufus thinks he can see pity there, and he feels anger surging.

"Not as far as I know," Tseng says.

"But it could happen. It's not an unlikely scenario."

"No. It's possible. But if Reno's been given any such order, I'm not aware of it."

_But_, thinks Rufus, _if Reno's in this voluntarily, then why is he still fucking Xin as a substitute for Tseng, who's apparently so out of his reach?_

'_He_ came on to _me_' Reno said of Xin – is that all there is to it? Is Reno simply a creature of carnal appetites who takes opportunities whenever they arise, so to speak? That's certainly how Reno chooses to present himself, but Rufus has always assumed that to be a front. Surely even Turks have some feelings higher than basic instincts? Isn't Reno aware of how privileged he is to have been singled out by Rufus? Doesn't he understand that Rufus Shinra doesn't share his bed and his fortune with just anyone? Surely _he's_ the one who should be considered out of Reno's reach, not this _Turk _- for all his aesthetic appeal and self-possession and maturity.

"Is he still seeing that mechanic kid from the slums?" Rufus asks, pretending he's not well aware of Xin's name and ignoring the fact that the 'kid' is two years older than he is.

"Wei Xin? I believe so."

"Hm. Well, there's nothing wrong with taking what you want."

"I'd say that would depend on the situation," Tseng responds after a pause, and Rufus has to bite back a childish 'who asked _you_?' Instead he looks at Tseng directly and says, "I wonder what it is about Xin?"

"I wouldn't waste time wondering," Tseng replies, looking out of the window as though the conversation is beginning to bore him. "Reno's choices in that field have always been – esoteric."

"Perhaps not in this case," Rufus says. "Hasn't it occurred to you that Xin bears more than a passing resemblance to you?"

Rufus experiences a jolt of déjà vu: the tiny moment of stillness before Tseng speaks is exactly like Reno's this morning.

"I'm sure that's entirely coincidental," Tseng says, with just enough emphasis to let Rufus know that this line of enquiry is dead.


	3. It's Not You

**3**

**It's Not You**

Xin is wearing dark blue jeans and a white shirt. His hair is loose and he seems to have shed most of his usual jewellery. Even the grinning bomb earring has been replaced by a plain silver hoop. "Hey," he says, as Reno approaches, but he makes no move, leaning on the bar, acting casual.

"Hey."

Xin downs his drink and looks at Reno's face. "Okay," he says. "I guess this is 'we need to talk', yeah?"

Reno thinks about Rufus, who he's certain is the one responsible for Trig's shift having been swapped with Tseng's.

"Let's go outside," Reno says.

Pushing open the fire door and stepping into the alley behind the bar, Reno says, "So – yeah. I guess you're right. I reckon we should stop. There's a reason I don't do this. Couple of reasons. My job –"

"I don't care about your job. I like you, Reno. You and me – we're good together. I know there's that guy you won't tell me nothin' about up on the plate – I can live with that. It's not like I've ever asked you for nothing more than this – the nights you're free and up for it."

"I know. But – it's safer if we don't.

"Safer? Oh. Oh right. You get to decide what's safe for me?"

"No – but –"

Xin waves his hand, dismissive. His temper is a match for Reno's own. "Don't! I'm not desperate. If you're done, you're done. I wasn't – but that's how it goes, I guess. It was good while it lasted, anyway."

"Yeah. Yeah – it was."

"Maybe I'll see you round, Reno?"

"Yeah."

Xin turns to go, then turns back, catches Reno's arm, pushes him clumsily against the wall and kisses him. Reno doesn't object at all. He still doesn't object a few seconds later, when Xin reaches for his cock and finds that it's already hard.

x

As the car makes its way back towards the ShinRa building, Rufus asks Tseng, "Assuming Veld hasn't ordered Reno to sleep with me, what's his attitude to the situation?"

"He must have sanctioned Reno's continued participation, if that's what you're asking," Tseng replies. "But all that means is that he hasn't ordered Reno _not_ to sleep with you."

"Why's that, do you think? It's hardly normal professional behaviour for a Turk to allow himself to get - entangled - with a senior member of staff. Orders aside, I presume."

"It may be a matter of containment, as you said. If you were to indulge in anything more public, your father would almost certainly find out, and the repercussions could be undesirable. Reno's very visibility makes him invisible in some circumstances, and his discretion is absolute when it comes to anything work-related. He was - a good choice." A thought clearly occurs to Tseng, and Rufus can tell that he finds it an alarming one, but his tone is perfectly conversational as he adds, "I'm assuming that Reno _was_ your choice, and not the other way around?"

"Of course!" Rufus replies, astonished at these Turks and their presumption. "You think Reno would have dared - ?"

"There's very little I wouldn't put past Reno," Tseng says, half smiling. "But - no, professionally I doubt he would have taken that risk. He does have a Turk's sense of self-preservation."

"So, if Veld ordered him to stop, he'd stop?"

Tseng looks at Rufus, and again there's that look of pity that Rufus can't stand. "I can't answer that. Only you know the status of your relationship with him."

"Huh. I'm not sure 'relationship' is the word for it. Anyway, as far as containment goes, it's not as though he's my boyfriend or anything stupid like that. We're both free to see other people. He seems to be seeing this Xin quite often. And I – well, I could have taken that girl home, but she's not my type. I do prefer men in general. Older men."

Tseng makes no reply.

They drive the rest of the way in silence, but as they pull up to the ShinRa building, Rufus leans across, takes hold of Tseng's lapel and kisses him firmly on the mouth. Tseng responds with infuriating politeness, returning the kiss with a slight answering pressure before moving away.

"Will you report _that_ to Veld?" Rufus asks.

"I don't think that will be necessary," Tseng replies, getting out of the car and walking around to open the door for Rufus. "Cassie will escort you to your rooms. Goodnight, Sir."

x

In bed, in the darkness of the Turk's apartment, Xin strokes Reno's hair and says, "You can call me Tseng this time. You know - if you want."

Reno tenses. "How did you know?" He leans across Xin and turns on the light, looking into those dark eyes. Xin doesn't look away. "That first time," Xin says, "You said my name was 'close enough'. I didn't know what you meant then – didn't care much at the time. But then you called me the next day. I didn't think you'd call. I got to wondering and asked a few questions in the bar. He's from Wutai, ain't he? Or half, like me?"

"Like you… Yeah, but you ain't him."

"And that's why you want to finish it?"

"No – I don't want to, but I have to. I shouldn't've started – Thought it would be one night, and you'd never know."

"But you needed it – to keep imagining it was him?"

"No. It _was_ that, the first couple of times. But you're not him. I – like the other stuff, you know? What you can do with an engine – that bike of yours – that take-out on the edge of Six - Lara and Jake and the others. But I don't get it – if you knew, how come you didn't tell me to get lost?"

"Everyone wants something. I figured you were way out of my league, but, don't ask, don't get, you know? I thought, 'if that's what it costs…'"

"It don't cost nothin', Xin. You're good. If things were different…"

Xin laughed. "Oh, right. _It's not me, it's you_?"

"It's what I do is the problem. Anyone outside of that winds up in danger, in the end."

"I know you're a Turk. I ain't scared."

"You should be. I should never've kept this going so long. Look, Xin – I'm sorry about the Tseng stuff. That's my problem. That's something that would - cost too much." Reno reaches to touch Xin's face. Xin is very attractive, but, as Reno told Rufus, not actually all that like Tseng. His face is squarer, his mouth smaller and fuller, his nose wider. At first glance, or across a smoky bar – yes, then the likeness is striking. But this close, it's Xin, and he looks completely different from Tseng. If _Tseng _were this close –

But that's never going to happen. Some things, as Reno would explain to Rufus, if he could think of any argument Rufus might accept – some things you just can't have. Tseng is one of them. A relationship with Xin that goes beyond sex – that's another. Reno's seen it before – Rude and Chelsea – Veld and his wife and daughter – the casualties of getting involved with ShinRa. And Reno's already involved with ShinRa _and_ Shinra. Sometimes he just wants something on the outside. He's managed it before by always keeping things to a couple of nights at most, but he's already allowed Xin a mile over that line, which means time's up.

Reno runs his fingers through Xin's hair, not thinking about Tseng at all, really. He's going to miss this. Sometimes, with Xin and his friends, he felt almost like a normal person. "This ain't fair," Reno says. "I'll go."

"No," Xin replies, touching his fingers to the tattoos on Reno's cheekbones. "Stay tonight. Like I said – you can call me Ts-"

"- Don't wanna call you nothin' but Xin," Reno interrupts, kissing him – leaving the light on for the first and last time.

x

Rod nudges Cassie as Rude heads for the bar to get more drinks. "Cass – you know what's up between Reno and the VP? Looks like Tseng's getting all Reno's duties with him now. Reno do something wrong, you think?"

"I don't think it's about Reno," Cassie replies, flipping back her long ponytail as she drains the last of her beer.

"What – _Tseng _and Rufus?"

"Shh! Keep your voice down, for fuck's sake! Honestly Rod! Anyway, even if I knew anything, I'd have to kill you if I told you."

"So you _do_ know something?"

"So you _want_ me to kill you?"

"But I thought - Reno and the VP? Either that, or Reno and Tseng. I mean, no denying that guy Reno keeps meeting here looks a helluva lot like Tseng."

Both Turks fall silent as Rude returns, setting their drinks down on the table. Cassie shoots Rod a warning look, but he can't hold back his curiosity. "Rude – is Reno with Rufus?" he asks. "Only, it seems the VP and Tseng –"

"What about it?"

"Do _you_ think Rufus and Tseng –"

"I don't think it's any of our business," Rude replies, frowning. Rod takes the hint and changes the subject, but while he's busy chatting to Cassie, Rude ponders the question. There's no doubt in his mind that Reno is more attached to Rufus than he'll ever confess, and yet after his nights with Rufus, Reno is often touchy and unsettled. It seems clear from his own observations that Rufus is currently pursuing Tseng quite deliberately. Why? Are things coming to an end with Reno? Is the VP really interested in Tseng, or is he doing it to get back at Reno for something? Rude decides to keep quiet on the subject unless his partner brings it up first. He knows Reno. Reno will tell him what he needs to, when he's ready.


	4. Over

**I'm finally getting round to updating some fics. Sorry it's been so long. Thank you for reading and reviewing - it's much appreciated. **

**Reno and Rufus aren't getting on at the moment...**

* * *

**Over**

"Why are you so angry?" Rufus asks.

"I'm not angry!" Reno snaps.

"Oh. Then why have you been avoiding me?"

"I haven't! Not everything's about you, Rufus. I've been busy."

"With Xin?"

"That's over."

"But I told you it was okay to keep seeing him."

"Yeah. You told me."

Rufus frowns, growing impatient. "I meant it. I'm not jealous."

"Ha!"

"I'm not! You can have a dozen lovers if you want to." He grimaces in distaste as he adds, "Provided you're meticulous about taking precautions and keep up to date with your medical checks."

"Yeah. Should be careful with these under-plate types. Never know what you might catch."

"Well –"

"I ain't stupid. You were probably more at risk of catching something from Miss Silicone Tits the other night."

"I never touched her! Well – I took her arm, but I didn't have much choice about that. I brought you something back from Bernetti's though."

"What – a doggy bag?" Reno sneers. "Want me to sit up and beg for it?" Rufus stares at him. "What the fuck is wrong with you? It's just a bottle of wine. I thought we could have dinner…"

"Yeah? And how much did that cost? A hundred gil a glass, like the fucking coffee? Two hundred? What – it's distilled from the tears of Nibel Mountain virgins, or some shit? I don't want it Rufus. I didn't want the gold pen, or the cuff links or those frigging impossible to iron West Condor cotton shirts, or any of it. What are you trying to do? You're better than me – okay, I get that. You can have anything – anyone – you want and you picked me."

"Yes! Exactly. That's what it's about. I don't understand why that makes you angry. I wanted _you_. I'm spending this money on you because you're worth it. "

"And you kindly allow me to see other people."

"Yes! Even if I don't understand some of your choices. But at least you've finished with that Xin – because, frankly, he _was_ beneath you."

"You don't know what you're talking about! He's a good man. He built up a business in the slums, and, believe me, that ain't easy. Maybe you'd've done as much with his start in life – maybe you wouldn't. _I_ didn't, I know that much. _He's _never kidnapped or tortured or killed anyone. How can you say he's beneath _me_? I finished it for his sake, not mine. I liked Xin. In another world –"

"But – you only went with him because he looks like Tseng! It's Tseng you want, but you're too scared – or you think too little of yourself - to dare. But you have _me_, Reno! How can _Tseng_ be too good for you? You laugh when I say I'm not jealous, but it's true – I'm not sexually jealous. The fact that you want Tseng – I can see that. He's very attractive. But I am jealous of my – my _position_. I give you everything – and you still see Tseng as being above you!"

"You're right. I do think Tseng's above me. He's my fucking superior. As for Xin – yeah – it started out as a physical thing because he looks like Tseng. But now – no. If I didn't work for ShinRa, I'd be staying with Xin – for as long as he'd have me. But you – you and your declarations of what you do for me - pushing your money on me like you think I'm some kind of charity case – letting me know all the time how I should be so fucking grateful_ – _so _flattered - _that you even deigned to look at me twice, while _constantly_ reminding me that it's only sex and we can both screw whoever else whenever we want – Well, screw _that_! I don't have _you_, Rufus, I just have you. And every fucking time, you tell me that it don't mean nothing. You say you give me everything – but what you give me is nothing to you. I don't know what this has been about for you, but I can get good sex elsewhere without all this bullshit."

"What bullshit? All I've ever done –"

"Are you fucking Tseng?"

"I told you I was going to. Is _that _what this is about?"

Reno looks at Rufus narrowly. "That's not an answer. Are you fucking Tseng now?"

"Why shouldn't I be? _You_ would be, if you dared."

"Fuck, Rufus – it's not about daring! Don't you get it? You can't have everything! Some things just - aren't ever gonna to happen!"

"You can make them happen. _I_ make things happen. When I want something I don't stop until I get it. You could do that too - if you only believed that you were good enough –"

"No." Reno shakes his head, exasperated. "No. You can't have everything you want – not even you. I don't believe you're with Tseng. He wouldn't – not unless Veld told him to."

"Did Veld tell _you_ to?"

"No! I wanted you, okay? I knew it was a risk, but when you made the move I went along with it, because I wanted you. I did what you said – I dared. Even though my job was on the line – hell – my _life_ was on the line. But as soon as I did, you started with how it don't mean nothing, so I played along with that. And now you're goin' after Tseng – why? I don't get it. I've had enough of your games. I'm sick of it. If it's to punish me for Xin – I finished with Xin. What else can I do? You know what? I've had enough. I'm finished with all of this."

Reno turns away. Rufus takes a step after him before he can stop himself. Angry and alarmed, he cries out, "You can't walk out on me! Who the hell do you think you are?"

Reno heads for the door.

"Tseng kissed me!"

That gets Reno's attention. He turns and gives Rufus a furious glare. "Liar! You kissed him, you mean."

"He kissed me back."

Reno takes that in, then he sneers, "Fine. I hope you'll be very happy together. Just try to bear in mind that he's not some fucking _pet_, 'cause I doubt _he'll_ put up with your bullshit."

"Reno –"

Reno opens the door.

"Reno!"

The door slams behind him.

When Tseng takes over from Rod later that night, Rod is out in the corridor looking worried. "Wouldn't let me in," he says. "I think he's had some kind of argument with Reno. Are those two –"

"What makes you think they've argued?" Tseng interrupts.

"Reno was out here when I took over, in a foul mood, pacing up and down like Dark Nation in a cage. He went off without saying anything. I knocked on the door and the VP told me to fuck off. When I told him it was me he just said, "Oh. That wasn't aimed at you. Stay out there, please." I asked him if he was okay and he said, "Yes. I just don't want to see anyone."

"Well, that seems conclusive. All right, you can go. I'd prefer it if you kept any speculation about Reno and the Vice President to yourself."

"Yes, Sir."

When Rod has gone, Tseng knocks on the door. "It's Tseng, Sir. May I come in?"

"Why? It's not as though _you_ want me either," comes an angry voice from the other side of the door. Tseng sighs. There was a spate of this when Rufus was fifteen, not long after his mother died – experiments with drink and occasionally drugs – but he's grown out of that. Apparently his current experiments in love aren't going so well.

"I'd prefer it if you'd let me in," Tseng calls. "But I do have a key."

The door opens. Rufus turns away immediately, throwing himself back onto the couch. On the coffee table stands one empty bottle of wine, and another about a third empty. Rufus goes to pour another glass. "I'd ask you to join me, but you're on duty," he says. "Fucking good wine. 'Tears of Nibel Mountain virgins – or some shit' – to quote a certain red-haired fucker we all know and - know." He laughs harshly.

"I think you should stop drinking now," Tseng says gently. "You'll be in pain tomorrow."

"Who says I'm not now?" Rufus mutters, before laughing at himself. "Fuck, I can't be drunk on less than two bottles. But why does Reno have to be such a fucking asshole? I don't understand why he can't just – Why it all has to be so –"

"I'll make you some coffee," Tseng says, "and then it would probably be best to get some sleep." He goes to the kitchen counter and pours fresh beans into Rufus' top-of-the-range ShinRatech coffee machine. When he presses the button, the machine begins to steam and gurgle. Dark liquid drops slowly into two mugs.

"Coffee that costs a hundred gil a cup," Rufus sighs, "And still not good enough for him. What _does_ he want?"

"I don't know," says Tseng, even though it was clearly a rhetorical question.

"He finished with me," Rufus says, shaking his head in disbelief. "He'd rather be with some slum mechanic than me."

"Perhaps he really does have feelings for Xin?" Tseng asks.

"Maybe, but he finished with Xin, too. I think that's why he was angry – why he finished with me. I don't understand him."

Tseng smiles as he hands Rufus his coffee. "I'm not sure anyone understands Reno. Except Rude, perhaps. Drink this."

"I'm not that drunk, really."

"No, but I still think it would be a good idea for you to drink it."

Rufus takes the coffee and sits with his elbows on his knees, both hands around the warm mug, staring down into the almost black liquid. Suddenly he sets the mug down on the table too hard, so that coffee sloshes over the rim and forms a dark pool on the tabletop. Rufus jumps to his feet. "No!" he exclaims, "I'm not having this! _Reno_ seems to be able to pick up whoever he likes in that bar you go to – good-looking, available people – so why shouldn't I? He doesn't want me – I'll find someone who does! What's that bar called, Tseng? Where is it? Take me there."

Tseng puts down his own coffee carefully and stands up, taking a step towards Rufus, positioning himself between the tipsy Vice President and the door. "You know that wouldn't be a good idea, Sir," he says.

"Why not?"

"It's not the kind of place where your safety could be guaranteed. Besides, if you picked up someone in a place like that, the gossip media would be all over it in minutes, and your father –"

"My father would most likely have a fit. Perhaps the shock would kill him, d'you think? If I picked up a boy?" Rufus laughs darkly. "I hear Xin's available. Although I do draw the line at Reno's cast-offs."

For the first time he can remember Rufus sees a crack in Tseng's constantly calm demeanour. True it's little more than a tightening of the lips; the hint of a frown that suggests impatience, but from Tseng it's startling.

"I think you should go to bed now," says Tseng, as though Rufus is an errant toddler.

"I will – if you come with me," Rufus replies, half careless, half desperate.

"Reno doesn't bother losing his temper over things that don't matter to him," Tseng observes, clearing up the spilled coffee and making a fresh cup. He puts it into Rufus' hands. "Go to bed. It's not a good idea to make decisions when you're drunk."

Rufus sighs, but acquiesces. When he gets to the bedroom door he turns and looks at Tseng, calm now – quietly dignified, even. "I meant what I was getting at in the car the other day," he says. "Reno only ever went with Xin because he looks like you. I said earlier that I don't know what Reno wants, but that's not true. He wants you. He wants you, but he thinks you're – I don't know – out of bounds, or something. Reno and I have never had an exclusive relationship. We talked about you, and I admitted that I wanted you, too. Perhaps that's why he was so angry? But, really, none of this is your doing. I just thought it would – clarify things, if you knew the truth. Anyway, I apologise if I've embarrassed you. I'm afraid I have been less than subtle recently." Without waiting for a reply Rufus goes into his room, closing the door softly behind him.

When he's gone, Tseng tidies up the living room and the kitchen automatically, barely registering what he's doing. Is Rufus telling the truth? He certainly sounded sincere. Tseng can't deny that when he saw Xin and Reno together he wondered – perhaps even _hoped_? - But even if Rufus is right, the idea of anything of that kind happening between himself and Reno is unthinkable. Their relative positions in the Turk hierarchy, Reno's attachment to Rufus, and Rufus' to him – the potential for disaster is, as it always has been, simply too great a risk. And as for Rufus himself… Well, it shocks Tseng to discover how much that idea tempts him, on a purely sexual level.

No. Impossible.

As he cleans the coffee machine and rinses Rufus' wine glass, Tseng considers whether he ought to inform Veld about the situation, and decides against it. The best thing he can do is to talk to Reno and persuade him to go back to Rufus. It won't be an easy conversation, knowing what he now knows, but it's a necessary one if the status quo is to be preserved. And however volatile the relationship between Rufus and Reno may be, Tseng is certain that it runs deeper than either of them are prepared to admit.


End file.
